What Does EMDR Therapy Feel Like During a Session?

When I first heard about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), I genuinely thought to myself “that’s a whole load of ____” (feel free to fill in the blank with your word of choice). I truly feared it as another gimmick, another “quick fix” that didn’t actually do anything, just a placebo. I was skeptical to say the least. 

Fast forward to now, I am EMDR trained and consider EMDR the modality I most align to and pull most heavily from as a trauma therapist. 

So what changed? 

For starters, I got to experience EMDR as a client, and I found the experience transformative in ways that were indescribable. Now, this is not everyone’s experience with EMDR and that is okay. However, EMDR, when implemented intentionally and carefully, can have profoundly healing effects.

Secondly, I got trained in it, and then got some more training. And with every new training, I felt more awed by the modality and the theories behind why EMDR works. Needless to say, I was hooked. 

So what does EMDR actually feel like during a session? 

If you're unfamiliar with EMDR, I encourage you to read my overview of EMDR, and then come back here. 

What Does EMDR Resourcing Feel Like? 

When people think about EMDR, they think eye movements, buzzers, or audio while working with really distressing, traumatic memories…the entire time. And the truth is, this is just one part of EMDR. Resourcing is the bulk of EMDR work I end up doing with clients and for good reason. 

Resourcing is the process of developing a toolkit of tools, strategies, and internal resources to fall back on if and when distress arises. 

I never dive straight into deep trauma work. That would be too overwhelming. Instead we spend a good amount of time resourcing ourselves. EMDR doesn’t always involve processing traumatic memories right away and it doesn’t always involve bilateral stimulation (eye movements, buzzers, audio) immediately. EMDR always involves resourcing throughout.

A Few EMDR Resources I Love

Resourcing can mean so many things. In sessions with me, resourcing can includes a focus on:

Therapeutic Relationship 

This is so vitally important in EMDR work. If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist and don’t feel like they truly “get” you, how can you engage with some of the most challenging parts of your life with them? I don’t think this aspect gets talked about enough as an incredible resource in EMDR therapy. The therapeutic relationship is everything. Research goes back to it all the time: beyond any modality, it’s the therapeutic relationship that has the most significant healing effect. 

Parts Work 

For example, this might sound like you saying “a part of me wants to process these memories with EMDR and another part of me does not”. Or “a part of me can’t stop ruminating over _____”. We would explore these parts of self to get to know them better. We do this to develop more internal awareness, curiosity, and perhaps self-compassion. Parts work is always a good idea with EMDR. 

Cognitive Resources

I definitely lean more somatic in my work, and sometimes in somatic circles this means “forget cognitive (brain) strategies”. However, I know how important they are! The brain is a part of the body, indeed. 

Cognitive resources might include strategies for developing more flexible thinking. For example, you might struggle with “all or none thinking” or “catastrophizing”. We might explore cognitive strategies for what I call “widening the lens” when the lens gets really narrow. 

Somatic Resources 

These are my favorite types of resources, and they can be challenging because they involve the somatic (body) felt sense. I often spend a lot of time with clients developing somatic vocabulary in order to more readily identify experiences that are experienced in the body. 

From there, a lot of resources become available. One example of this might be me asking: “can you remember a time when you felt ______ (internal desired quality)?” You then might recall that time, tell it to me in vivid detail, and we would identify where you feel that most in your body. Then we can strengthen those somatic qualities in the here and now. 

Even if the experience was felt in the past, we can experience the sensations here and now which is great news! Sometimes we apply “bilateral stimulation” to strengthen this feeling, and other times we might sit with that feeling together, allowing it to strengthen on its own. We develop these internal resources to call upon them when needed, especially during EMDR memory reprocessing. 

*A note for folks recovering from eating disorders who also want to do trauma work: 

Resourcing looks a lot like stabilization of eating disorder symptoms. Perhaps I'll write a blog on this some other time, but the TLDR is: “deeper” trauma work can be really challenging and activating if eating disorder symptoms are quite active. There’s lots of reason for this, one being that the brain needs enough nourishment to do this type of work. 

So resourcing for EMDR with an eating disorder will often look like developing tools, strategies, and resources to stabilize symptoms so that your body and brain are nourished enough to begin moving towards trauma work. That doesn’t mean we aren’t doing “EMDR” if we’re not processing traumatic memories right away. All 8 stages, including resourcing, is EMDR therapy. 

In sum, EMDR doesn’t always involve processing traumatic memories right away. And it doesn’t always involve bilateral stimulation. EMDR always involves resourcing ourselves. 

What does EMDR memory reprocessing feel like? 

Once you and I both feel confident that you are resourced enough to begin reprocessing memories, there are a few different approaches we might take, depending on your needs. For the sake of this blog post, I’ll stick to the standard version of EMDR, but please know there are many variations to this process that perhaps I’ll write a blog post on another time.

Identify Memories

You and I would go through an individualized process of identifying themes, categories or memories to target. There are many ways to do this. I prioritize dipping our toe into memories so as not to overwhelm the system. Usually, I ask you to provide me with the broad headlines, and then we put any associated details in a metaphorical container before continuing. 

Assessment 

Once we’ve identified the memory that makes sense to target (one that is tolerable and productive), I ask you a series of questions to lightly activate the memory. The questions include some variation of: 

• Identifying an image or the most challenging part of the memory (almost like a snapshot)

• Identifying a negative belief that feels true about you when you think of this memory now

• Identifying a positive belief you most want to believe when you think of this memory now 

• How true that positive belief feels 

• How distressing the memory feels 

• Accompanying emotions with the memory

• Accompanying body sensations with the memory 

Desensitization 

Once the memory is lightly activated, but not so much so it takes over the system, we begin “desensitizing”, or reducing distress, around the memory by applying Bilateral Stimulation (BLS). These can include eye movements, tapping or buzzers, or audio.  In my office, in Wyndmoor, PA, I have buzzers that you hold in both hands. Clients often say they feel relaxed when the buzzers alternate left and right. I also have ways to engage eye movements or sounds in-person if that is your preference. We would decide ahead of time what feels best for you. 

If we meet virtually, I use a HIPAA compliant tele-health platform that includes all the EMDR bells and whistles allowing us to apply visual or auditory bilateral stimulation. Because you may not have the EMDR buzzers at home, we often explore bilateral tapping along to sound, to eye movements, or tapping on its own. Tapping doesn’t always need to be the way, there are so many options that exist. 

As the memory is lightly activated and you are receiving BLS, your only “job” is to notice anything that changes: sometimes that’s thoughts, images, physical sensations, or emotions. Sometimes things stay the same. When the BLS pauses (after about 30 seconds or so), you and I check in with one another. You are always in control of holding up a hand to stop us at any point to check in. 

The purpose of BLS is multi-faceted. For the purposes of this blog, it feels important to say that BLS allows us to stay grounded in the present while we lightly activate the past. 

The aim of desensitization is to reduce distress around the memory and that is usually what happens. Sometimes we get stuck and that is to be expected. If and when that happens, your job is to let me know what you’re noticing so that we can work through any “stuck points” together.

Once distress is reduced around the memory, we move on to installation and a body scan. 

Installation 

In this phase, we revisit the desired positive belief identified during the assessment of the memory. Sometimes this belief still feels like a fit, other times it changes. Whichever positive belief feels most true now, we “install” that into the nervous system by linking it with the memory as it is to you now, checking in on how true it feels, and then applying BLS. We do this until the positive belief feels really true in your system when associated with the target memory. 

Body Scan 

In this phase, we take a moment to check in with the body when activating the memory. Is there anything residual that lingers? The body often tells us when we haven’t fully cleared something. If there’s residual distress in the body, we work with that using BLS to “digest” it further. If the body gives us the “all clear” signal, we close out the memory. 

Closure and Re-Evaluation 

Sometimes, we can close out a memory in one session. Often times, memories can be reprocessed over the course of many sessions. We also can pause and go, depending on what your needs are. There’s no “one right way” to do EMDR. If a memory is incomplete at the end of a session, we engage in resourcing to ensure you feel steady to move into the rest of your day and week. If we’ve closed the memory out, we might begin to identify next steps for reprocessing. We might identify other memories from the past, or perhaps engage in future planning. Regardless, at the next session, we always engage in “re-evaluation” to check in on anything that may have come up related to the EMDR work we did previously. 

EMDR shouldn’t completely overwhelm your system. 

Good trauma work moves at a tolerable pace. If EMDR completely overwhelms your system, that is a signal to slow down and get even more resourced. That's not a bad thing, that's great information. EMDR isn’t always a “quick fix” in the way you may have heard it talked about. It can be slow work. That doesn’t mean it’s not effective work. Trauma work often is slow. 

Trauma happens fast, so healing often requires slowing down. It’s often said in trauma healing communities: “slow is fast”. The example I often give for this is one I’ve experienced many times myself. When I’m cooking a meal, sometimes I’m moving about my kitchen at the speed of light, in the hopes that I get things done more “efficiently”. What ends up happening is that I'm dropping things, accidentally then breaking things, missing ingredients, and it ends up taking me twice as long because I was trying to go so fast! If I slow things down a bit, get more intentional and careful, I often move through things with a bit more efficiency and perhaps even ease! The same is true here in EMDR. 

If you are curious to learn more about virtual EMDR therapy in Pennsylvania or Ohio, please reach out! If you’d like to learn more about in-person EMDR in Wyndmoor, near Glenside and Philadelphia, let’s chat! I see clients in-person from surrounding locations such as Plymouth Meeting, Jenkintown, Flourtown, and Lafayette Hill. I'd love to hear from you! You can schedule a consultation here.

With so much care,

Abby