Trusting Ourselves Again

Why do we keep searching for answers outside of ourselves when the answers may already lie within?

The number of times my clients ask big questions - seeking definitive, specific answers - and I gently reflect the question back in a curious, exploratory way… nine times out of ten, they already know. The answer is often already within.

It’s amazing to witness. I feel lucky to sit with people in those moments.

And yet, in our day-to-day lives, we often feel like we can’t trust ourselves. We feel like we need to look outside for answers. It shows up in questions like: What should I eat? How should I exercise? What should I wear? What should my career path be?

The list goes on.

In the age of social media, influencer culture, and the surge of AI, this pull outward is amplified.

There’s no shortage of voices telling you how you should think, what you should eat, and how you should feel.

You might start to wonder: Who actually am I? What do I like? What do I want? Am I experiencing this because I truly feel it... or because I think I should?

And that’s not to say we shouldn’t seek support. We are relational beings. We need one another. Many minds can be better than one.

And also... when we consistently look outside ourselves for the deeper, more personal questions, we can begin to erode our sense of self-trust. We lose connection with ourselves.

A Core Sense of Self

Many schools of therapy, especially parts work and ego-state approaches, hold the belief that we all have a wiser, more centered core Self. Some even capitalize the “S” in Self to emphasize its importance.

This idea can take us down many philosophical and spiritual paths. But for the purposes of this writing, I’ll stay grounded in what I see every day in my therapy office:

There is an inner wisdom in each person I work with. It is consistently there.

It just gets clouded and for very good reasons.

Why We Lose Access to Our Inner Knowing

1. Trauma disrupts self-trust

Trauma requires us to adapt. It calls forward protective parts of ourselves that move into survival mode. These parts can become very strong, and they often stay active long after the original threat has passed.

When those parts are leading the way, access to our core Self can feel limited. We become “blended” with these protective responses and lose touch with that steady inner knowing.

The good news: your core Self doesn’t disappear.

I’ve seen this again and again with clients who have experienced trauma and complex trauma.

With time, safety, curiosity, and a strong therapeutic relationship, people can reconnect with themselves.

2. Capitalist culture disrupts our sense of self

We live in a culture that is constantly trying to sell us something.

When we are repeatedly told what we lack, what we need, or what we’re missing, it makes sense that we begin to question ourselves.

Think about your last social media scroll. Have you ever thought: “Wow, I didn’t realize I needed that” or “Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me”?

That’s not accidental.

This is often how capitalism works: by creating doubt, then offering a solution.

And truthfully, none of us are immune. As a therapist who runs a business, I feel this tension too. Even here, on my own website, there’s a constant pull between staying authentic and existing within systems that reward selling.

At my core, though, my intention is simple: to support healing because I know what it’s done for me.

3. Diet culture and disordered eating disrupt self-trust

Our relationship with food and movement is another place where self-trust often gets overridden.

Diet culture constantly tells us:

• what to eat

• what not to eat

• how to move

• how not to move

And it’s always changing.

So of course you feel confused. How could you not?

When we’re constantly looking outside ourselves for guidance, eating and movement stop feeling intuitive. We lose touch with our body’s cues and wisdom.

So How Do We Come Back To Ourselves?

First, this is not about becoming completely inward-focused or disconnected from others.

Community, relationships, mentorship, and guidance matter deeply.

But if you notice yourself constantly outsourcing your inner knowing: to social media, influencers, or even AI- and it doesn’t feel quite right… you’re not alone.

And there are ways to begin rebuilding that relationship with yourself.

Practices that Support Self-Trust and Inner Knowing

Internal reflection Through journaling or reflection:

• When do I feel most centered or connected to myself?

• If that feels hard to answer, when do I feel even 2% more present or curious about my experience?

• Can I spend more time here, when possible?

Getting to know your inner parts

• Notice the different parts of you that have different opinions or feelings about various situations

• Then zoom out and ask: what do I actually think or feel about this?

Spiritual or grounding practices This can look many different ways depending on what grounds you most. Some ideas include:

• Yoga

• Tarot

• Your own spiritual or religious traditions that bring you closer to yourself

• Time in nature

• Being with your pets

• Creating art

Therapy Therapy can be a powerful place to reconnect with your inner knowing, especially with someone who is:

• trauma-informed

• aligned with your values or spiritual framework (if that’s important to you)

• if relevant for you, experienced in areas like disordered eating

If you’re feeling curious about reconnecting with your inner knowing, I’d love to support you in that process.

I’m an in-person trauma and eating disorder therapist in Wyndmoor, PA (just outside of Philadelphia and Glenside), and I also work virtually with clients across Pennsylvania and Ohio. I’m a yoga teacher as well, and I incorporate somatic work when it feels supportive for each individual.

If you’d like to explore what working together could look like, you’re welcome to reach out and we can find a time to connect.

Take really good care,

 Abby